This is a true story, a letter sent to the YMCA-Hotel in London some years ago from a young man from Italy.

Dear Signore Direttore,

Now I am a-tella you a story wot I was a-treated at your hotella.

I am a-comma from Roma as tourist to London an stay as a-younga cristan man at your hotella. When I comma in my room I see there is no shit in my bed - how can I sleep whit no shit i my bed? So I calla down to the receptione and tella: "I wanta shit".

They tella me: "Go to toilet".

I say: "No, no I wanta shit in my bed".

They say: "You better not shit in your bed, you sonna-wa-bitch".

What is sonna-wa-bitch?

I go down for breakfast into restorante. I order bacon and egga and two pissis of toast. I getta only one piss of toast. I tella waitress, and point at toast: "I wanta piss".

She tella me: "Go to toilet".

I say: "I wanta piss on my plate".

She then say to me: "You'd bloody not piss on the plate, you sonna-wa-bitch".

That is the second person who do not even know me calla me "sonna-wa-bitch", an why is your staff replying "Go to toilet", is that a modern tella? I do no understand, Please tella me!

Later I go for dinner in your restorante. Spoon and knife is laid out, but no fock. I tella waitress: "I wanta fock".

And she tella me: "Sure, everyone wanta fock".

I say: "No, no you dont understanda me, I wanta fock on the table".

She tella me: So you sonna-wa-bitch wanta fock on the table? Get your ass out of here!

How comma this cristian hotel tella the guest in such bad manner?

So I go to receptioneand ask for bill, I no wanta stay in this hotel no more. When I have paid the a-billa the portier say to me: "Thank you and piss on you".

I say: "Piss on you too, you sonna-wa-bitch, I go back to Italy".

Direttore, I never gonna stay in your hotella no more, you sonna-wa-bitch.


Dicci Elgre


the Italian says:

he wants to say:

they understand:

I wanna two pissis

I want two pieces

I want to piss

I wonna fock

I want a fork

I want to fuck

I wanna shit

I want a sheet

I want to shit

sonna va bitch = son of a bitch = figlio di una putana